Mental Motivation

 New Beginnings

Hey Y'all 

How are you feeling today? Where's your mental motivation? Hmmm, never heard of that one huh? I mean, are you doing what you must do today because you have to? Or are you mentally motivated to get the job done? Take a second and breathe on that. Just a moment to process that. 

See being completely honest I have days where I just want to do absolutely nothing. Days where I want to just lay in the bed under the blanket all day long and do nothing. The problem for me is taking a day or two wouldn't hurt but I want day(s) I kept making it plural for a reason. My problem is if I take too many days off to relax I lose my mental motivation and it put me off track. COMPLETELY. 

Let's get all in my mix again; so I have to be in a certain mental space to be able to focus. I mean zone in a focus. My "Achilles Heel" that I don't like talking about is weed. I feel like sometimes it helped me focus better, or drown out all of the thoughts I did not want to focus on. As I am growing in my faith, I realized weed only helped me focus because while being "high" I just allowed my mind to focus on a certain thing instead of wondering. It's like putting a bandage over a 6-inch deep cut. It stops the bleeding temporarily, but eventually, the blood will spill over. You have to get to the surface of the cut and stitch it from there before you can cover the outside. 

In my case, I had to dig deep and uncover all those thoughts I was trying to run from and deal with them from the surface. Smoking was only my bandage to cover up how deep the scar was. I can remember when I had this surgery and they gave me a vac-pack to use while I was healing to close the wound. I had a nurse that came in twice a week to change the dressing on the wound. I remember one day she came and changed my dressing (it was painful) and my dad talked with me after. He said, "I never knew how much pain you were in until today when she showed me a picture of your wound.." On the outside my dad just saw the bandage and the vac-pack that was used to close the wound, he did not see how deep the wound was until the bandage was pulled back and the wound was revealed. The irony of the story is years later in reality I was the same way. 

Until I started asking God to REVEAL the mental pull toward weed, I could not STOP smoking. I needed God to uncover the wound and show me how deep it was so we could begin working together to heal the wounds. I needed God to take the bandage off and begin repairing at the surface and work his way out. God needed to reveal where my flaws and weaknesses so he can begin to give them strength. My focus is a weakness for me. I am easily distracted, I have a wonderful mind that runs 1000000000 miles a minute, and I am always thinking of what’s next. I have to constantly pray. When I mean constantly, I know God is like she is on the main line again LOL. I have to constantly remind myself that I have peace in every situation. When I need to focus I have to turn on some gospel music and tone everything around me out. I have to study my bible, google definitions, and break down my bible verse by verse. Whatever I needed to do to keep my lamp oiled. 

Once I was able to take mental control over my thought process. Once I began to know what to do during mental attacks. Once I began to understand how to get my focus in the correct place. Once I began knowing how to fight back. My dependency died down. My need to smoke to focus was slowly but surely going away. I had a mental carnal battle to fight next but that's another blog. I had to decide whether I believed what I was reading in HIS word, or what I was seeing in the world. 

My mental motivation became BETTER. I still have days where I want to lay in bed but, I became more enthusiastic about the things I was supposed to be doing. Taking control of your thought process is the first step in healing. It's the removal of the bandage of the healing process. When you take control of your mind, you begin exposing the wound and can begin digging to get to the source. The source of your hurt, rejection, pain, suffering, depression, anxiety... The healing process is exactly what it means; a process. You have to allow yourself grace and time mainly depending on how deep your wound is but every day you get is another chance to fight! Every day you get is a reminder that you still have a purpose.